Slow down the time, it's going too fast!

Okay, raise your hand if you can believe that in 2 days James is already 1 month old ... nobody? nobody? Yeah .... me neither!!! After the last month of pregnancy being the slowest month in history, we have just completed the fastest month in history!
Even though the majority of my days are spent at home feeding, sleeping and diaper changing, time just seems to be flying. And you would think that because I am awake more hours in the day than I am asleep that time would go even slower than usual, but nope ... I still cannot believe that I am sitting here with a month old baby!

The first month has been wonderful! It has been all about learning and getting to know each other. There have been times of frustration (why are you crying), times of anxiety (you are making me cry with all your crying), but above all, there have been times of love, love and more love. I still cannot believe that you can love one tiny little person so incredibly much. There have even been times where I just look at him sleeping or feeding etc and cry little tears of joy. I still cannot believe that this perfect little boy is my son :)  What a perfect mother's day gift  :)

Stuff that is new for James in the past few weeks: He is already smiling! Can you believe it ... and I am not talking about gassy smiles, I mean real smiles. He is even starting to react to our smiles with a smile. I thought babies couldn't do that for months! He makes my day every time he smiles :)  His crying is accompanied by tears now. They were all dry cries at first and I must admit that it put a lump in my throat the first time I saw a tear. He is completely astonished by Brutus (our dog) and stares at him any time he is near by ... they are going to be best friends! He is finding his voice and has started making noise just to make noise ... sometimes it sounds like he is talking to himself, I love it! And finally, he can hold up his head for about 10 seconds and turn it sideways. He is my strong little boy :)

Stuff that is new for me in the past few weeks: His crying no longer makes me anxious. Baby cries used to scare me and make me want to run the other way, but now I just pick him up and talk to him until he feels better. I have come to realise that if I figure out why he is upset we can fix the problem and he will most likely stop crying :)  I am sort of getting used to the less sleep, though there are still many evenings where I get cranky. Physically my stitches have healed (hurray!). My tailbone is still excruciating at times ... hopefully it will heal soon because that frustrates me more than anything right now. I already fit back into my jeans (best day ever!) and my boobs are huge haha!

Just loving being a mommy right now. I love my little family :)  For those of you who live near by ... I am starting to feel ready for visitors if you want to come and meet little James. But please, only if you are 100% healthy and only if there are no sick people around you because it's a few more weeks before he gets his shots.

Hopefully it wont be this long before the next blog ... I have my 6 week check up in 2 weeks, as does James. So I will try to update you all then :)

This too shall pass.

It has been a week and a half since little James was born and I feel like we are settling into a nice little grove. I am starting to understand his cues and find myself not getting anxious when he cries and I don't know what's wrong. My mantra has become, "This too shall pass" when I start to feel overwhelmed. He cannot cry forever, and I will figure out what he needs/wants ... there fore the crying will pass. I do believe that it is possible that because I am more relaxed that James has become more relaxed and so we are learning eachother so to speak. (I hope that makes sense!).

James is doing great. We are in a routine of feeding every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night time (so mama can sleep a little). He is peeing and pooping just as he should and becoming more and more alert every day. He is starting to respond to our voices and making eye contact. He loves lights. We have a lamp in the nursery with all different colors that he loves to stare at and last night he spent a good deal of time staring at the kitchen lights too. He has gotten to the point where he can sit in his swing and be completely content by himself as I eat or do stuff that needs to be done.
He has taken to his basinette like a fish to water. As soon as I lay him down and wrap him up, he settles down and starts to fall asleep. Sometimes he is still wide awake, but he doesnt fuss unless he loses his binkie. We do have a night time game that I am not very fond of. I call it the 'binkie game'. It's where I can spend anywhere from 30-45 minutes re-applying his binkie because he keeps spitting it out and then making half crying sounds because he wants it back. This game is usually played in the dark which means I reach into the basinette, gently search for the binkie and then gently search for his mouth.
I am very proud of how well he is doing :)

I, myself, am doing well also. Recovering nicely from delivery. Unfortunately my dislocated/fractured tail bone still hurts a lot, especially when I am sitting :-/  but that, too, will heal. I think I read that it can take upwards of 6 weeks, but I'm not going anywhere. (Fractured/dislocated tail bones are a regular occurance in the delivery room if you are a petite lady or your baby is particularly big).
I am starting to adjust to the less hours of sleep, so I am less like a zombie and less emotional. It's been less than two weeks and I've already lost 90%+ of the weight I had gained. This happened without me even trying, I guess breast feeding is a workout all on its own!

Anyway, I am going to go spend time with my little guy. Luckily I have had mom here all this week to help me further settle into motherhood since Josh had to go back to work. (Thank you mom! I dont know what I would have done without you this week!). Next week it's just myself and James, and I know that we will do just fine :)