Back in the Gym.

Now that I am 16.5 weeks pregnant and past the first trimester I have started feeling much better. Nausea is a thing of the past (touch wood) and the worst thing I deal with now are the hormone headaches, some fatigue and nose bleeds. And trust me ... those are better than the nausea! My cravings are also lessening so I am making a better effort to eat healthy  :)

Today was my second day back on the treadmill. I have been walking with Pam for the past few weeks, but I've been getting the urge to run. When I went to the gym with Josh a few days ago I jogged for a total of 6 minutes and walked for 14 minutes. I just wanted to get a feel for running again, and I have to admit that it feels different now. My boobs are heavy and uncontrollable! And I did feel the extra weight in my knees a little bit. But other than that, it felt good to be moving again.

Today I jogged for 8 minutes at 4.1 mph and walked for the rest of the 30 minutes at 3.5mph or less.  I was hoping to jog for 10 minutes but had to listen to my body. I started getting some minor lower abdominal cramping, and so didn't want to push it. Though for me, its very difficult to stop due to some minor pain. I am used to pushing through it and I am used to going all out. To think that I am used to running 3.3 miles in 30 minutes and today I got to 1.75 miles in 30 minutes ... it's quite a change of pace.

But right now I am not running to better my times or to train for a race ... right now I jog because I want to stay healthy throughout my pregnancy and make it easier on myself to get back into running shape after Peanut has arrived. I have also read that the uterus vibrates while I exercise and that feels good for the baby. It also brings more oxygen to the baby and there are some studies to support a higher likely hood of an active/healthy/intelligent child when a mom exercises during pregnancy due to that extra oxygen on a regular basis. So I want to do it for myself as well as for Peanut :)

So jogging, yoga, whole grains and veggies ... I feel like I am finally in the pregnancy stride I envisioned myself in, and I'm feeling good :)

That pile of 'too small' shirts is getting big!

Today I am 16 weeks pregnant ... that's 4 months ... that means that in 2 weeks, I will be half way done with my pregnancy. Does it feel like it? Absolutely not! In some ways it feels like I am only starting my pregnancy.

In the past few weeks I have finally gotten my appetite back. It's nice, but also feels like somewhat of a curse because I am constantly hungry or craving something. Well, I cant decide if it's actual cravings or if I am using my pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything in sight. But that's a whole different blog.

So my belly is finally growing. I am pretty excited about that. There is nothing more beautiful than the belly of a pregnant woman. But unfortunately my boobs and ass have done a little growing of their own. At least it looks that way. My face is also a little rounder but that's to be expected. The prospect of gaining weight has had me a little on edge from time to time, but when I remind myself of what its for I settle back into excitement. As of this morning I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my whole life. I think the most I weighed was when we first moved to the USA, and that was 108 pounds. I then lost weight and sat around the 100 pound mark until I stopped doing gymnastics and dancing and picked up running and strength training. That brought me to a strong 104-ish. When I first became pregnant I sat at 106 pounds and didn't move for a while as I struggled to eat ... but luckily I didn't lose much. But as of this morning I am 109.8 pounds. I guess two weeks ago I hit 108.2 ... but come on, that's not far above the 108 mark. So anyway ... long story short ... the baby is a growing!

From here on out, I should gain 1-2 pounds per week. Sounds like a lot right?! But I am sure I will manage just fine! Now, if only I could move myself from Del Taco (etc) to the salad bar with whole grain buns ... on second thoughts, pass me the fries!

Yay Greens!

So I am 14 weeks and 5 days today and I have eaten a field greens salad with olive oil and salt 2 days in a row. I am proud of this because for the past 3 months I have eaten very few vegetables since they were a major food aversion. As I have moved out of my first trimester I have noticed the nausea less and less. Smells entice me now more than they have in a while and I'm acting on it!

Yes, I still crave french fries and hasbrowns and cheese like it's nobody's business and I still act upon those cravings, but each day I am getting at least one salad or a side of veggies (steamed, grilled or sauteed) along with a lot more whole grains and healthy proteins.

For a while, not being able to eat veggies was a drag because I have always been so healthy. But now that I am adding more and more veggies in my daily meals I am feeling better about what I am feeding my little peanut. I want peanut to come into this world loving veggies as I always have. So hurray for a milestone in my pregnant eating  :)

And so she cleans.

What do you do when you are stressed or upset? For me it really depends on the level of stress. Sometimes ill take a nap if studying for school is stressing me. Sometimes I'll run if the stresses of work are becoming to much. But if I am really upset, I will clean.

For the past few days my hormone levels have been at an all time high. I have read about it and I know why this is happening and I have accepted it, but nowhere does it tell me how to deal with it. I'm more sensitive, taking stuff more personally than it should be taken. And there are times when I feel like I am a bomb ready to explode at any minute without warning. Sure, I used to deal with PMS 1-2 days a month, but it was nothing like this. As I keep saying, I feel like it's PMS on steroids. There are times when I 've tried napping, reading, exercise, meditation ... and none of it works. Is there a special remedy that I don't know about?

Last night it all came to a head. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to control how the hormones were making me feel. I was frustrated for the times I have taken it out on friends and I was feeling fed up that the hormones wouldnt go away. So I found myself in tears. I just lay in bed crying. But after 10 minutes, I was over that too.

I needed a distraction. So at midnight I got back out of bed and headed to the kitchen. I started cleaning. I emptied the dishwasher one item at a time and reloaded it. This gave me time to work out whatever was going on in my head. It also calmed and exhausted me. By 12:30am I was headed back to bed with dry eyes. And thankfully it didnt take me too long to fall asleep.

I am not someone who is used to being so emotionally charged all the time, and so it has been quite an adjustment ... one I havnt fully made yet. I just want to feel like I did before. Most of the time I can put on a good front ... but that's exhausting too. Please tell that I will stop feeling like a crazy biatch soon? I would like this to happen before I drive away all my friends please, and preferably before I go completely insane!

New lifestyle ... new friends?

Being pregnant I can't just go out and do all the same things I used to do. I can't go out drinking to celebrate a birthday or go to a friend's house to smoke hookah and just chill. I can't go rock climbing or running up mountains or spend an evening at open gym doing flips across the floor. I can't go out for sushi or do dumb things that young adults my age still do sometimes. I need to make a lifestyle change.

I knew this before becoming pregnant of course, and having a slightly older fiance I knew that settling into the adult/parenting lifestyle wouldn't be difficult at home. Josh and I were ready to make that transition from party animals to party parents  :)

However, I didn't think that becoming pregnant would have such an immediate effect on friendships. Wearing a regular t-shirt you can hardly even tell that I am pregnant and there are days when I certainly don't feel pregnant yet ... but I can feel a shift occurring and it caused quite a meltdown this morning. (Before I continue, I want my friends to know that this isn't an attack on anyone. I fully understand that nothing is meant to hurt my feeling ... but you have to understand that some days my hormones are on steroids and I feel hurt anyway .... even when I know it's not rational).

I have noticed a gradual decrease in invitations to hang out and go out. After all, many of my friends are in their early 20's and any hang out situation involves alcohol, hookah and/or weed (though I have never smoked weed). And while being tired (due to pregnancy) makes me less likely to want to 'do things' ... seeing pictures and status' on Facebook and hearing about it at work etc makes me feel very left out ... which leads me to feel lonely.

Now I understand. If you and your friends are getting wasted/high, it can be awkward having that one sober person around (they will remember every stupid thing you say and do that night). And having been the only sober person in some situations it can be awkward for me too (I can no longer understand what you are saying). But the invitation is still very much appreciated. Chances are ... if you say, "Hey, we are getting wasted in the hot tub tonight, wanna come?" I will very politely decline the invitation ... but I still feel like a part of the group ... like I was wanted as a part of whatever was going on. Right now, I feel someone with a contagious disease or that one nerd in class who never got invited to a birthday party.

Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant and cannot wait to be a mom. But being a young mom and having a lot of 'party' friends is taking its toll on me right now. I do think that it is just because of the increase in hormones running through my body, because I don't usually mind being a home-body. What I really need to do (and Josh brought this up today) is start signing he and I up for parenting classes. There we will meet many couples in the exact same situation as us and I will expand my circle of friends adding some new moms who can share all of those pregnant things with me. :)

Having said all of that ... To my friends: I love you all! You have been supportive and loving in the ways you know how and I appreciate you all very much. I wouldnt switch any of you for anyone in the world ... you are all anties and uncles to be  :)

First official pictures!

Yesterday morning Josh and I made our way to our first official ultrasound appointment. I know I got one at the ER, but they wouldn't let me watch and they use older monitors making the whole thing not as clear. The place we went yesterday morning had state of the art sonogram machines.

One thing that was really excited for me was that Josh had not yet seen the baby in motion or heard the heartbeat. He is so stoked about becoming a dad, that I knew it would be a special moment for him too. And it was awesome! At first the baby wouldn't lie still, so the technician was having trouble getting the measurements. But after a few minutes he/she found a comfortable spot so that we could all see exactly how he/she is doing.

The baby is beautiful. 'Little Peanut' is definitely an appropriate nickname. In fact, I thought the baby looked perfect, the most beautiful baby I've ever seen on sonogram :)  And the heartbeat was so strong. Josh and I were pretty quiet through out the screening as we just stared at the monitor. We were both very happy leaving that appointment.

Here is a picture of our little peanut at 12 weeks and 6 days  :)  During this appointment we also found out that the screening for Down Syndrome and other related diseases came back negative. So our little peanut is growing strong :)

I cannot wait for our next sonogram in 5 weeks, because then we will find out the gender. Aaah, I am still glowing. I can now see why expectant mothers glow ... it's watching the miracle progress, the miracle that will become your beautiful child.