From one concern to another.

So for those of you who have been pregnant, you know that pregnancy can be one worry after another, especially when it comes to the first pregnancy because you don't always know what is normal and what is not. As new moms-to-be we spend a lot of time looking up all the aches and pains on google and calling our doctors about our new found symptoms.

Now that I have reached full term most of those worries have gone away. Reaching week 39 has alleviated a lot of concerns as I just sit back and wait for those telling signs of labor. Last night, however, I found myself laying in bed surrounded by a whole bunch of new concerns.

I often go back and forth between feeling ready for labor and delivery and completely terrified. Of course its the fear of the unknown ... I have no idea what is going to happen in that room. Every mom in the world could share her experience and I could still experience something very different. The pain that I might feel also scares me, even though I plan to have an epidural. Also tearing scares me for obvious reasons. But I am also aware that I will be surrounded by the best support I could ask for. Josh's hand will be in mine for as long and as much as I need it, my parents and sister will be there to cheer me on and encourage me to keep going when I am completely exhausted and my doctor, whom I trust beyond words, will be there to talk me through the whole process. So while I am scared at times, I am also confident that I can get through the whole labor and delivery without a problem.

Something new that I have started worrying about as the big day approaches are my abilities as a mom. Babysitting was never really my thing, though I did it often. Crying babies have always made me uncomfortable. What if James has a crying day ... how do respond if he doesn't respond to any kind of soothing? I know that it will be different because he is my child ... but I want the best for my son and wouldn't want to see him sad or uncomfortable.
I know that these are common concerns among new moms, so I am trying to let it go and understand that it will be a learning process and as I get to know James I will learn what soothing techniques work and what don't.

Having said all of that ... I am ready for James to arrive ... so James, we are just waiting for you little buddy :)

Ok this was fun ... Can the baby be here now?

It's been a week since I tested positive for being pregnant, and I feel like I am finally settling into my new lifestyle. Obviously I cannot be completely settled ... after all, every day is different. But I am getting used to the symptoms that occur on a daily bases. For example, every morning I know I will wake up completely starving and nauseated at the same time, so I am prepared with whole grain crackers and water. I also set my alarm with enough time that I can get up slowly.
I know that after about an hour of sitting on the couch nibbling on a few more crackers that my stomach will be finally ready for the idea of some breakfast. As soon as I feel ready I prepare whatever I find somewhat appealing. I eat because I know the baby needs food, otherwise I wouldn't bother until I am feeling 100% better. Breakfast is still a struggle though, and my gag reflex is ready and waiting for me to lose control. I don't really start to feel completely better until mid afternoon, but at least the baby was fed :)

Something that has been new the last few days is that just the thought of foods makes me feel like throwing up. Just thinking about it in my mouth is enough to turn my stomach. So even when I am starving and want to eat ... finding something I can swallow is quite the adventure. Today for example, the only thing that I could easily swallow (not including the breakfast I inhaled) was lightly salted tortilla chips. Not very nutritious I know, but at least it was something. Hopefully tomorrow will be something a little more substantial. But thankfully this evening I managed some chicken noodle soup.

The cramping is slowly stopping which is nice. The cramping was due to my pelvis changing, my uterus growing, the baby implanting and the sudden surge of hormones. I know that I will get more as the pregnancy progresses, but for now I am pretty much cramp free :) 

The final big physical change ... and I am only discussing this because it is a pregnancy blog ... are my boobs. Oh my goodness, are they sore!!! They've already grown half a cup size which means I'm going to need to go shopping soon. This morning I couldn't raise my arms all the way because they were so tender. But hey ... I guess I wont be needing those implants lol  ;)

So yeah, emotionally I have settled in, but physically I haven't stopped changing in weeks. It's like puberty all over again! But when I think about the end goal ... a beautiful, healthy baby ... it is worth every tender, nauseated, cramping minute. I cant wait to be a mom.  :)