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Saturday, October 8, 2011

New lifestyle ... new friends?

Being pregnant I can't just go out and do all the same things I used to do. I can't go out drinking to celebrate a birthday or go to a friend's house to smoke hookah and just chill. I can't go rock climbing or running up mountains or spend an evening at open gym doing flips across the floor. I can't go out for sushi or do dumb things that young adults my age still do sometimes. I need to make a lifestyle change.

I knew this before becoming pregnant of course, and having a slightly older fiance I knew that settling into the adult/parenting lifestyle wouldn't be difficult at home. Josh and I were ready to make that transition from party animals to party parents  :)

However, I didn't think that becoming pregnant would have such an immediate effect on friendships. Wearing a regular t-shirt you can hardly even tell that I am pregnant and there are days when I certainly don't feel pregnant yet ... but I can feel a shift occurring and it caused quite a meltdown this morning. (Before I continue, I want my friends to know that this isn't an attack on anyone. I fully understand that nothing is meant to hurt my feeling ... but you have to understand that some days my hormones are on steroids and I feel hurt anyway .... even when I know it's not rational).

I have noticed a gradual decrease in invitations to hang out and go out. After all, many of my friends are in their early 20's and any hang out situation involves alcohol, hookah and/or weed (though I have never smoked weed). And while being tired (due to pregnancy) makes me less likely to want to 'do things' ... seeing pictures and status' on Facebook and hearing about it at work etc makes me feel very left out ... which leads me to feel lonely.

Now I understand. If you and your friends are getting wasted/high, it can be awkward having that one sober person around (they will remember every stupid thing you say and do that night). And having been the only sober person in some situations it can be awkward for me too (I can no longer understand what you are saying). But the invitation is still very much appreciated. Chances are ... if you say, "Hey, we are getting wasted in the hot tub tonight, wanna come?" I will very politely decline the invitation ... but I still feel like a part of the group ... like I was wanted as a part of whatever was going on. Right now, I feel someone with a contagious disease or that one nerd in class who never got invited to a birthday party.

Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant and cannot wait to be a mom. But being a young mom and having a lot of 'party' friends is taking its toll on me right now. I do think that it is just because of the increase in hormones running through my body, because I don't usually mind being a home-body. What I really need to do (and Josh brought this up today) is start signing he and I up for parenting classes. There we will meet many couples in the exact same situation as us and I will expand my circle of friends adding some new moms who can share all of those pregnant things with me. :)

Having said all of that ... To my friends: I love you all! You have been supportive and loving in the ways you know how and I appreciate you all very much. I wouldnt switch any of you for anyone in the world ... you are all anties and uncles to be  :)

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