Some days I find myself stopping to look in the mirror. I lift up my shirt and turn sideways for some physical proof that my little baby is growing inside me. So far it's really only been hip widening and bloating (I am only 12 weeks and 1 day), but today was the day.
I went to the doctors office this afternoon for my follow-up exam following Tuesday's car accident. I peed in a cup (again), the doctor checked my cervix (not my favorite exam) to make sure it was still completely closed and we did an ultrasound. We did do some ultrasounds in the ER on Tuesday, but I wasn't allowed to really watch at that time and they didnt explain anything that was on the screen. Today the screen was pointed straight at me.
There was my little peanut on the monitor, looking right at us. The doctor pointed out the little face and dark areas where the eye are. It was as if he/she was saying, "What?! Would you just let me rest already???" ... or .... "Hi mom, I told you I would be fine." - I also got to see the little flicker that is the heartbeat. And then the doctor turned on the sound so I got hear the heartbeat and wow is it strong! The doctor even said, "That is a pretty perfect heartbeat." .... That's my little peanut :)
It put my mind as ease. Just a few days ago the thoughts of losing my child was unbearable, but he/she is much stronger than I gave him/her credit for. The doctor did give me some print outs of my little peanut and I cannot wait to share them with you. But first, Josh must see his little baby. I really can't wait to show Josh tomorrow when he gets home. And I cannot wait until the Tuesday when Josh gets to hear the little heartbeat too.
I find myself rubbing my tummy and looking at my stomach in the mirror more now. I still can't believe that there is a little person in there ... one little person that can make me feel so much love. --- I just cant wait to meet you, my little peanut :)