New Years Resolution Anyone?

I gave up making New Year's Resolutions a long time ago. Simply for the reason that they were unrealistic, I didn't stick to them and ended up feeling like I'd failed. This happened mostly because I was a kid and would get excited about cleaning my room more, eating less junk food and being nicer to my little sister for about a week, and then I'd be over it!

But this year I feel like I need to make some promises to myself and my family. I say 'promises' because they are much harder for me to break than 'resolutions'. So here are my New Year's Promises:

I am entering a whole new chapter of my life this year ... I am becoming a mother. This is possibly the biggest life change that a woman can experience. I am going from a life that was all about what I wanted to do and taking care of myself to being a mother of a child who is completely dependent on me to live.

• So my promise to my soon arriving new born child is to be the best mother I can be. I promise to follow my instincts and the advice of my doctor and mother to raise you to be the best you can be so that you can take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. I promise to to be healthy so that you have the opportunity to be healthy and live a long and happy life. I promise to love you unconditionally and let you be who YOU want to be (as long as it doesnt land you in prison or an early grave).  <3
• My promise to be soon-to-be-husband is to be the best soon-to-be-wife that I can be. I promise to be there for you in every way that I can providing you with my unconditional love and support. I promise to be your partner in the raising of our son.  <3
• My promise to myself as a new mom is to not forget about myself. I promise to become as healthy as I was before becoming pregnant. I promise to take time to myself and allow myself to get back into my running schedule (schedule-ish). I promise to not be hard on myself when not everything goes to plan in motherhood. I promise not to stress out as I learn the ways of being a new parent.

I think those are good promises to try and keep, not only for this year of 2012, but for the remainder of my life. I think it will help me stay sane and not take life too seriously. I love my family and want us to live a long and happy life together.

So how about you all out there? New Year's Promises? Or maybe some life long promises? Will you be entering a new chapter in your life or do you perhaps want to start a new chapter? Get healthy? Take more time for yourself? Become a more active member of the community? Volunteer? We are all at different places in our lives ... it's up to you to decide where you want to go next!

Love you all! Happy New Year!!!

My favorite time of the year.

I love the Christmas season. For me Christmas is about quality family time. I look forward to it every year because my parents, Josh and I take a few days off work and Laura has a few weeks off school so those few days are the ultimate stress-free, just take time for each other, quality family time. Sadly it doesn't happen much more than once a year, so I cherish Christmas for that reason :)

I cannot believe that James will be here next Christmas. Not only will he be here, but he will be 8 months old already! There is nothing like Christmas morning through the eyes of a child ... but more than that, you're own child. I know that he wont quite understand the whole Santa thing and all, but at 8 months we can still get him some cool stuff, where as if he were younger, toys wouldn't really come into the equation until the following year.

The plan is to have Christmas at our apartment next year and have everyone come down (my parents and sister as well as Josh's mom and hopefully his sister too). It will be fun to decorate our own place and plan dinner in our own kitchen. I, myself, have never hosted Christmas or anything more than a BBQ ... so it will be a whole new experience. And I must be honest, it makes me feel quite grown up, not to mention excited  :)

One of the coolest James related things that happened this past weekend was that everyone finally got to feel and SEE him move  :)  One of the days he was very active almost all day long. I have also noticed the sensations are changing. They are no longer just kicks. I can feel him rolling and stretching. So the movements are slower and can sometimes move from end of my stomach to the other. It sometimes also feels like he is poking me. I love it! The only thing I could do without is the nub of a belly button hahaha. Or as Josh calls it, my nubbin ... its not attractive! Good thing it's not bathing suit season lol.

So over all it was a wonderful weekend, though it is always nice to be back home. Roll on 2012 ... I love even numbers AND it is the year my son will be born.



Dec 27, 2011 (24 weeks). --- My love and I at Dargans in Santa Barbara for my dad's birthday :)



From One month to Six!



Can you believe how much I have grown in these past six months?! I have gained a total of 14 pounds since conceiving and most of that has been in the past month and a half. And I am only going to keep growing!!!

I honestly had no idea how small I was before getting pregnant until looking at these two photos side by side. It makes me confident that I will be able to lose all of my pregnancy weight by working out and eating right :) 

So far I have done well to stay in the healthy range ... I was on the lower end of the weight gain until about month 4 due to morning sickness, but I quickly caught up and am now smack dab in the middle of the recommended weight gain :)   Oh and I can no longer take photos in my bathing suit bottoms because ... well ... they no longer fit :-/ hahaha!

This morning I stood on the scales (as I do at the same time every week to ensure that I am gaining the weight I need to gain) and was quite shocked to have passed the 120 pound mark ... I am now at 121 pounds! For me that is a lot because I am a petite person who has never weighed more than 108 pounds. So I said to Josh, "I'm getting fat."  .... to which he replied, "Yes, but it's a beautiful fat."  .... One of the many reasons that I love my man  :)  He always knows how to make me feel better  :)  I love you!!!  <3

Anyway, I am going to go and not eat ice cream .... wait, do we have ice cream? .... mmmmm ice cream  :-D

Feeling Positive

Hello :)  Two exciting things this week ... Christmas of course, so quality time with the family and entering the 6th month of pregnancy. I don't know why, but the 6th month has always felt like a milestone of some kind. So I am almost there  :)

I went to urgent care at the end of last week to ask about my chronic fatigue and acid indigestion. The doctor told that I can take pepsid ac rather than tums and that we will only resort to prilosec if the pepsid doesn't work. Well, the pepsid works wonderfully! I take one with breakfast every morning and that one little pill lasts me the whole 24 hours with not a single acid burp  :)  It started working from the very first pill too. So I am very very happy with that. I can now finally eat more than just rice and veggies!
This also means that I am now sleeping through the whole night with the odd bathroom trip around 6am. So guess what ... the fatigue has also gone away. Now I just deal with the regular tiredness of pregnancy. It feels fantastic to be sleeping  :)  It puts me in a better mood for work and with people around me in general and has lessened the stress caused by exhaustion .... so I haven't cried in days!  :)

I am also sleeping better because it seems my body has gotten used to spending the whole night on my left side. I no longer wake up with numb legs and arms. I have also stopped stressing about sleeping on my back because the doctor told me that if its uncomfortable for James, it will also be uncomfortable for me and so I will either roll over or just wake up and change position.

I have a morning routine now that I quite enjoy. I don't really sleep in anymore, so when Josh wakes up around 630am or 7am for work I usually turn on the bedroom TV to watch GMA (Good Morning America) while I slowly wake up. Once I feel alert enough, I start doing my physical therapy stretches which are done lying down. I do those for about 15-20 minutes and then slowly sit up. Once that feels good I get out of bed and do a few rounds of pigeon pose (squat position pushing my hips outwards) and forward fold. All of these stretches are to loosen my hips and strengthen my pelvis floor for birth. By the time I am done with all of that I feel ready to start my day!

I am feeling ready and able to start a little workout routine too, so Josh and I are going to start going to our apartment complexes gym where he will probably jog and I will walk. It will be nice to get moving again ... heck, it feels nice just to have the energy and motivation to want to workout again!

Anyway, I am starting to ramble. I will try to remember to post my 6 months belly picture on here on Thursday so you can see the progress! Have a great day!

Some of the coaches at South Coast Gymnastics here in Irvine, CA on December 17th for the Christmas Party. Pam and I are sitting on the blue block front and center. Can you believe that we are both 6 months along?!?! Pam is just two weeks ahead of me and we are both having boys  :)

Keeping it Simple.

So after a few weeks of not sleeping due to discomfort, indigestion, weird dreams and anxiety, last night I slept amazing!

The indigestion has been getting worse and worse and was starting to occur after things like a glass of water etc. Like the water was re-upsetting what I had eaten before. So after a few nights of waking to feeling like I had just swallowed acid (the flesh eating kind), I decided I needed to change something. Yesterday instead of eating whatever I wanted, as I had been, I just ordered 8oz brown rice, 4oz steamed veggies and 2 vegan chicken skewers with no dressings or sauces etc and it went down very smoothly. It tried to threaten me with indigestion, but that went away very quickly and I went the whole night without an acid-filled burp.

As for the physical discomfort ... my legs going numb, heavy tummy, dead arms etc ... I didn't have any of that either. I started doing my physical therapy stretches before bed which I think helped a lot because it really loosened my hips and legs. So I think I will try to do that from now on.

As for the weird dreams ... I feel like that was probably related to the food I was eating also. Especially the food I would eat right before going to bed. So the relief from the dreams last night is probably also due to the more bland diet I consumed yesterday. Just so you know, I also ate some special k cereal, a piece of corn bread, some chocolate (dark) in the afternoon and noodles as my last meal of the evening around 9pm. And of course because I didn't sleep the night before I had 1/4 cup of coffee (I am allowed 1/2 cup every day) to help me going in the morning and that energy lasted me all day, so I think all the extra moving around would have helped me digest everything before bed also :)

As for the anxiety, I do believe that it hormone related. We all know how when you wake up at night thinking about something, it all seems somehow worse, but then in the morning it doesn't seem half as bad or as urgent? Well, I didn't have any of that either.

It was wonderful to sleep a whole night without waking up to pee or for any other reason. I hope that I can get a few more nights like that before James arrives  :)

Settling in ... to a new home and the 'baby mode'?

This time last week were just about done moving all of our stuff into the new apartment and we (dad, Josh and I) were exhausted! We haven't unpacked everything yet, but this new apartment felt like home from night one. It's wonderful to have more space :)

We didn't get the Internet re-installed until Thursday and I have been working since then, so that is why I haven't blogged since before the move. But I wouldn't have had much more to talk about than being tired! It took me a good 3 days to recover from the 2 days of moving. I was in bed before 10pm every night.

I feel like my pregnancy has moved into a new 'mode'. I almost feel like I am in 'baby mode' ... meaning that if I am not eating or sleeping I'm crying about something [or nothing]. Seriously, I am constantly hungry! When I am eating, I am barely done with one meal before I start thinking about the next one. I do my best to make the majority of my meals and snacks healthy, though I don't always succeed. My stomach has also started growing pretty fast in the past few weeks, it's crazy!

I am also sleeping a lot more. I haven't really napped since my first trimester, but I am noticing naps sneaking back into my daily routine. I have also noticed that I get physically tired a lot easier than even just a month ago, another sign that I am growing for sure! In exactly one month I will be entering the third trimester, so no doubt the tiredness wont be going anywhere!

As for the crying ... I don't really cry that much. Though I do get frustrated a lot easier which ends in tears and the complaints of being uncomfortable are occurring more and more often.  At night time I find that I am either sleeping like a rock or tossing and turning all night due to numb/tingling legs and arms (from trying to stay on one side) or my abdominal area is uncomfortable because it is getting heavier or I wake up to use the restroom and cant fall back to sleep.
I also get the numb/tingling legs during the day if I have been standing at work for a while and my pelvis and lower abdomen also get tired from standing.

So in those respects I can definitely see my pregnancy progressing. One the more positive end, I am dreaming about James more and more (last night I was breast feeding, burping and bonding with my son). We can also see James moving more often now. Josh saw him move for the first time the other evening which was exciting. And I am just over all excited as the days to meeting our son become less and less :)

I also don't complain about having to eat all the time except when I am working and cannot (am not allowed) to eat! After all, this is the most wonderful time for a woman to eat whatever she wants and craves without the guilt  ;)

Hows it going?

My postings have been few and far between lately. I have just been so busy and cannot believe how fast time is going. I cannot believe that I am 21 weeks now! Little James will be here before we know it!

I have been receiving 'Pregnancy and Newborn' magazine as well as some 'Parenting' magazines, and the more I get into them, the more I cant wait to finally be a mommy.  It's not that I wasn't excited before ... but the magazines are opening up a whole world that I was oblivious to ... there is so much you can do with your kids at home and outside. They give healthy eating tips too. I guess knowledge is power because the more I read and the more I learn, the less nervous I become.

Anyway, so Josh and I are moving apartments the day after tomorrow. Packing has been a stressful pain in the behind, but it's getting done. And as I go, I am organizing and disposing. So I guess it's a little spring cleaning as well :)  It will be awesome to have a bigger apartment. Not to mention, of course, having a room for James! I am very much looking forward to setting that up! I don't really have anything to put in there yet, but that's okay ... I will soon enough!

So for the next few days I shall be moving and unpacking etc ... hopefully my pregnancy brain will let me do so efficiently! If I think of it, I will post some photos of the new place!

It's a Boy!

Today we went to our ultrasound and it was awesome! The technician, Nicki, took all the measurements and said that everything looks great and also annoucned that we will be having a baby boy  :)  As soon as she said it, I looked at Josh and we both smiled. We cant wait! He will be James Thomas Epps.

We chose the name by putting both of our dad's first names together and I think it forms quite a solid name. It sounds strong :)

Nicki had pointed out James' penis to us but then decided to add some arrows and a title just incase we forgot what we were looking at. Josh gets a laugh everytime he sees this picture.  :)

I cannot wait to welcome baby James into the world in April  :)  He is our little boy and boy are we lucky that he is coming into our lives. Sometimes I still cannot believe that we created something so wonderful. I cannot wait to meet you my little Peanut ... but in the meantime, you stay where you are in the warmth and grow and thrive as you have been already. I love you xoxox



Can't Sleep.

I am 20 weeks today! It is 630am on the morning of the ultrasound where Josh and I will find out if our Peanut is a boy or a girl. My alarm was set to go off at 7am, but I have been up since 6am - awake since 5am.
I am just nervous about the ultrasound ... not a bad nervous, just anxious like I cant wait. I keep dreaming where it is past the ultrasound and I either cant remember the results or I forgot to go.

At work yesterday we took tallies of who thought it would be a girl and who a boy. It was split 50/50 again. Some people just guessed while others took a good look at me making an educated guess ... it still came out 50/50! So I guess there is really no way to tell without that ultrasound! So much for the old wives tales.

I guess I will be back later with the news :)

Busy Times!

There is so much going on right now! Firstly, my tummy has started growing quite a bit (which you will see evidence of on Tuesday). It has only started really growing  in the past few weeks. So I finally look pregnant and less like I ate too many Cheetos.

Can you believe that I will be 20 weeks pregnant on Tuesday! That's 5 months!!! I cannot believe how fast this is all going. I guess time has been flying more now that I have been feeling so much better physically etc. So I have been working more and getting more done as far as chores and errands go. I am also sleeping less during the day and eating more :)  Finally enjoying the perks of pregnancy.

So besides us hitting the 5 month mark on Tuesday, we also have our ultrasound appointment. This is the ultrasound where they tell us if we are carrying little girl Epps or little boy Epps. I cannot wait! As far as people guessing at work etc, it has been split 50/50, so only time will tell! After the appointment Josh and I will be calling the grandparents and aunts ... but after that, keep an eye out for that exciting announcement on facebook  :)

In two weeks, we are moving our little family to a bigger apartment. It's only 15 minutes from where we are now, but it's a nicer area (no college students), has an extra bedroom for our little Peanut, has a washer/dryer IN the apartment (no more lugging laundry around) and a gas stove (the electrical stoves suck!). All those pluses and it isnt that much more expensive. Our apartment is also at the very end of the complex ... so that means less traffic outside our windows aaaaaand a mountain view because it's a newly developing area  :) 
These apartments were only built in 2009, so they have all the latest safety features in the buildings and because they are solid concrete we will hear our neighbors a lot less (thank goodness for that!). Our upstairs neighbors here are nice, but oh my goodness, sometimes it sounds like a family of elephants are living above us ... and they arent even overweight! So I am very excited about the move and so is Josh. I think we will be alot happier there, and I can see our little growing family being a lot happier there. Especially since we wont be surrounded by drunken students, pot smoke and never ending techno music.

So all in all, everything is going great! Besides having to pack of course, but luckily we dont have too much stuff and we're not going very far. So I guess I will talk to you all again (on here) on Tuesday! Feel free to take some last minute guesses  ;)

A little knock from inside.

Today I am 17 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Yesterday I felt my little peanut kick for the first time. It was an amazing moment. I was driving home from work and felt 3 little pops. I was confused at first, wondering what it was. I thought, "Those were weird gas bubbles." Then I realized that they were very different and had to be my peanut. I was so excited and just smiled the rest of the way home. I couldn't wait to get home and tell Josh.

I had always wondered how I would know the difference between gas bubbles moving through my intestines, muscle spasms and baby kicks. But it is true what they say ... you just know. I immediately put my hand on my stomach and started rubbing it, saying out loud, "I feel you baby, I feel you ... you say hello anytime you want, momma feels you." It was pretty amazing.

For me it felt like three little popcorn popping. 'They' say that at first it feels like butterflies in your stomach or like little butterfly kisses ... but here is why I think I may have missed that part. When I don't get enough vitamin b-12, I get heart flutters. And because I have lowered a lot of my vitamins (except the prenatals and folic acid), I get heart flutters on a regular basis. They are not dangerous, they are just a part of my daily life now. But the heart flutters vary from being low by my diaphragm and high by my throat ... so I can see how I could have easily missed the early movements.

I know I say this with everything, but I cant wait until Josh can feel the movement too. I sometimes feel that it is unfair that I get to experience it all first ... I want him to experience just as much as me so that he can feel that 'first time' excitement with me. It will be a happy day when Josh can put his hand on my stomach and feel the little acrobat inside me  :)    Our little peanut, letting us know that he/she is growing and thriving  :)  Happy Days!

Back in the Gym.

Now that I am 16.5 weeks pregnant and past the first trimester I have started feeling much better. Nausea is a thing of the past (touch wood) and the worst thing I deal with now are the hormone headaches, some fatigue and nose bleeds. And trust me ... those are better than the nausea! My cravings are also lessening so I am making a better effort to eat healthy  :)

Today was my second day back on the treadmill. I have been walking with Pam for the past few weeks, but I've been getting the urge to run. When I went to the gym with Josh a few days ago I jogged for a total of 6 minutes and walked for 14 minutes. I just wanted to get a feel for running again, and I have to admit that it feels different now. My boobs are heavy and uncontrollable! And I did feel the extra weight in my knees a little bit. But other than that, it felt good to be moving again.

Today I jogged for 8 minutes at 4.1 mph and walked for the rest of the 30 minutes at 3.5mph or less.  I was hoping to jog for 10 minutes but had to listen to my body. I started getting some minor lower abdominal cramping, and so didn't want to push it. Though for me, its very difficult to stop due to some minor pain. I am used to pushing through it and I am used to going all out. To think that I am used to running 3.3 miles in 30 minutes and today I got to 1.75 miles in 30 minutes ... it's quite a change of pace.

But right now I am not running to better my times or to train for a race ... right now I jog because I want to stay healthy throughout my pregnancy and make it easier on myself to get back into running shape after Peanut has arrived. I have also read that the uterus vibrates while I exercise and that feels good for the baby. It also brings more oxygen to the baby and there are some studies to support a higher likely hood of an active/healthy/intelligent child when a mom exercises during pregnancy due to that extra oxygen on a regular basis. So I want to do it for myself as well as for Peanut :)

So jogging, yoga, whole grains and veggies ... I feel like I am finally in the pregnancy stride I envisioned myself in, and I'm feeling good :)

That pile of 'too small' shirts is getting big!

Today I am 16 weeks pregnant ... that's 4 months ... that means that in 2 weeks, I will be half way done with my pregnancy. Does it feel like it? Absolutely not! In some ways it feels like I am only starting my pregnancy.

In the past few weeks I have finally gotten my appetite back. It's nice, but also feels like somewhat of a curse because I am constantly hungry or craving something. Well, I cant decide if it's actual cravings or if I am using my pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything in sight. But that's a whole different blog.

So my belly is finally growing. I am pretty excited about that. There is nothing more beautiful than the belly of a pregnant woman. But unfortunately my boobs and ass have done a little growing of their own. At least it looks that way. My face is also a little rounder but that's to be expected. The prospect of gaining weight has had me a little on edge from time to time, but when I remind myself of what its for I settle back into excitement. As of this morning I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my whole life. I think the most I weighed was when we first moved to the USA, and that was 108 pounds. I then lost weight and sat around the 100 pound mark until I stopped doing gymnastics and dancing and picked up running and strength training. That brought me to a strong 104-ish. When I first became pregnant I sat at 106 pounds and didn't move for a while as I struggled to eat ... but luckily I didn't lose much. But as of this morning I am 109.8 pounds. I guess two weeks ago I hit 108.2 ... but come on, that's not far above the 108 mark. So anyway ... long story short ... the baby is a growing!

From here on out, I should gain 1-2 pounds per week. Sounds like a lot right?! But I am sure I will manage just fine! Now, if only I could move myself from Del Taco (etc) to the salad bar with whole grain buns ... on second thoughts, pass me the fries!

Yay Greens!

So I am 14 weeks and 5 days today and I have eaten a field greens salad with olive oil and salt 2 days in a row. I am proud of this because for the past 3 months I have eaten very few vegetables since they were a major food aversion. As I have moved out of my first trimester I have noticed the nausea less and less. Smells entice me now more than they have in a while and I'm acting on it!

Yes, I still crave french fries and hasbrowns and cheese like it's nobody's business and I still act upon those cravings, but each day I am getting at least one salad or a side of veggies (steamed, grilled or sauteed) along with a lot more whole grains and healthy proteins.

For a while, not being able to eat veggies was a drag because I have always been so healthy. But now that I am adding more and more veggies in my daily meals I am feeling better about what I am feeding my little peanut. I want peanut to come into this world loving veggies as I always have. So hurray for a milestone in my pregnant eating  :)

And so she cleans.

What do you do when you are stressed or upset? For me it really depends on the level of stress. Sometimes ill take a nap if studying for school is stressing me. Sometimes I'll run if the stresses of work are becoming to much. But if I am really upset, I will clean.

For the past few days my hormone levels have been at an all time high. I have read about it and I know why this is happening and I have accepted it, but nowhere does it tell me how to deal with it. I'm more sensitive, taking stuff more personally than it should be taken. And there are times when I feel like I am a bomb ready to explode at any minute without warning. Sure, I used to deal with PMS 1-2 days a month, but it was nothing like this. As I keep saying, I feel like it's PMS on steroids. There are times when I 've tried napping, reading, exercise, meditation ... and none of it works. Is there a special remedy that I don't know about?

Last night it all came to a head. I was frustrated with myself for not being able to control how the hormones were making me feel. I was frustrated for the times I have taken it out on friends and I was feeling fed up that the hormones wouldnt go away. So I found myself in tears. I just lay in bed crying. But after 10 minutes, I was over that too.

I needed a distraction. So at midnight I got back out of bed and headed to the kitchen. I started cleaning. I emptied the dishwasher one item at a time and reloaded it. This gave me time to work out whatever was going on in my head. It also calmed and exhausted me. By 12:30am I was headed back to bed with dry eyes. And thankfully it didnt take me too long to fall asleep.

I am not someone who is used to being so emotionally charged all the time, and so it has been quite an adjustment ... one I havnt fully made yet. I just want to feel like I did before. Most of the time I can put on a good front ... but that's exhausting too. Please tell that I will stop feeling like a crazy biatch soon? I would like this to happen before I drive away all my friends please, and preferably before I go completely insane!

New lifestyle ... new friends?

Being pregnant I can't just go out and do all the same things I used to do. I can't go out drinking to celebrate a birthday or go to a friend's house to smoke hookah and just chill. I can't go rock climbing or running up mountains or spend an evening at open gym doing flips across the floor. I can't go out for sushi or do dumb things that young adults my age still do sometimes. I need to make a lifestyle change.

I knew this before becoming pregnant of course, and having a slightly older fiance I knew that settling into the adult/parenting lifestyle wouldn't be difficult at home. Josh and I were ready to make that transition from party animals to party parents  :)

However, I didn't think that becoming pregnant would have such an immediate effect on friendships. Wearing a regular t-shirt you can hardly even tell that I am pregnant and there are days when I certainly don't feel pregnant yet ... but I can feel a shift occurring and it caused quite a meltdown this morning. (Before I continue, I want my friends to know that this isn't an attack on anyone. I fully understand that nothing is meant to hurt my feeling ... but you have to understand that some days my hormones are on steroids and I feel hurt anyway .... even when I know it's not rational).

I have noticed a gradual decrease in invitations to hang out and go out. After all, many of my friends are in their early 20's and any hang out situation involves alcohol, hookah and/or weed (though I have never smoked weed). And while being tired (due to pregnancy) makes me less likely to want to 'do things' ... seeing pictures and status' on Facebook and hearing about it at work etc makes me feel very left out ... which leads me to feel lonely.

Now I understand. If you and your friends are getting wasted/high, it can be awkward having that one sober person around (they will remember every stupid thing you say and do that night). And having been the only sober person in some situations it can be awkward for me too (I can no longer understand what you are saying). But the invitation is still very much appreciated. Chances are ... if you say, "Hey, we are getting wasted in the hot tub tonight, wanna come?" I will very politely decline the invitation ... but I still feel like a part of the group ... like I was wanted as a part of whatever was going on. Right now, I feel someone with a contagious disease or that one nerd in class who never got invited to a birthday party.

Don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant and cannot wait to be a mom. But being a young mom and having a lot of 'party' friends is taking its toll on me right now. I do think that it is just because of the increase in hormones running through my body, because I don't usually mind being a home-body. What I really need to do (and Josh brought this up today) is start signing he and I up for parenting classes. There we will meet many couples in the exact same situation as us and I will expand my circle of friends adding some new moms who can share all of those pregnant things with me. :)

Having said all of that ... To my friends: I love you all! You have been supportive and loving in the ways you know how and I appreciate you all very much. I wouldnt switch any of you for anyone in the world ... you are all anties and uncles to be  :)

First official pictures!

Yesterday morning Josh and I made our way to our first official ultrasound appointment. I know I got one at the ER, but they wouldn't let me watch and they use older monitors making the whole thing not as clear. The place we went yesterday morning had state of the art sonogram machines.

One thing that was really excited for me was that Josh had not yet seen the baby in motion or heard the heartbeat. He is so stoked about becoming a dad, that I knew it would be a special moment for him too. And it was awesome! At first the baby wouldn't lie still, so the technician was having trouble getting the measurements. But after a few minutes he/she found a comfortable spot so that we could all see exactly how he/she is doing.

The baby is beautiful. 'Little Peanut' is definitely an appropriate nickname. In fact, I thought the baby looked perfect, the most beautiful baby I've ever seen on sonogram :)  And the heartbeat was so strong. Josh and I were pretty quiet through out the screening as we just stared at the monitor. We were both very happy leaving that appointment.

Here is a picture of our little peanut at 12 weeks and 6 days  :)  During this appointment we also found out that the screening for Down Syndrome and other related diseases came back negative. So our little peanut is growing strong :)

I cannot wait for our next sonogram in 5 weeks, because then we will find out the gender. Aaah, I am still glowing. I can now see why expectant mothers glow ... it's watching the miracle progress, the miracle that will become your beautiful child.

There you are little Peanut.

Some days I find myself stopping to look in the mirror. I lift up my shirt and turn sideways for some physical proof that my little baby is growing inside me. So far it's really only been hip widening and bloating (I am only 12 weeks and 1 day), but today was the day.

I went to the doctors office this afternoon for my follow-up exam following Tuesday's car accident. I peed in a cup (again), the doctor checked my cervix (not my favorite exam) to make sure it was still completely closed and we did an ultrasound. We did do some ultrasounds in the ER on Tuesday, but I wasn't allowed to really watch at that time and they didnt explain anything that was on the screen. Today the screen was pointed straight at me.

There was my little peanut on the monitor, looking right at us. The doctor pointed out the little face and dark areas where the eye are. It was as if he/she was saying, "What?! Would you just let me rest already???"  ... or .... "Hi mom, I told you I would be fine." - I also got to see the little flicker that is the heartbeat. And then the doctor turned on the sound so I got hear the heartbeat and wow is it strong! The doctor even said, "That is a pretty perfect heartbeat." .... That's my little peanut  :)

It put my mind as ease. Just a few days ago the thoughts of losing my child was unbearable, but he/she is much stronger than I gave him/her credit for. The doctor did give me some print outs of my little peanut and I cannot wait to share them with you. But first, Josh must see his little baby. I really can't wait to show Josh tomorrow when he gets home. And I cannot wait until the Tuesday when Josh gets to hear the little heartbeat too.

I find myself rubbing my tummy and looking at my stomach in the mirror more now. I still can't believe that there is a little person in there ... one little person that can make me feel so much love. --- I just cant wait to meet you, my little peanut  :)

Aaaand Josh laughed at me.

For those of you who don't live in Ireland or England ... this is the best flavored milk in the whole wide world. Unfortunately you cannot get it here in the USA, not even in powder form. I tried to buy it from a website that sells Irish food in the USA, and they didn't even have any, and I was craving it BAAAADLY!!!

So I did what any pregnant lady with a crazy craving would do .... I emailed the company in England. I told them I am pregnant and am craving their banana flavored milk and asked if they knew any way I could get some all the way over here. To my surprise they responded within 24 hours saying that there is no way I can buy it over here BUT that they would send me some samples.

We were a little concerned that the package would get stopped in customs .... but nope! Here they are and I am one happy happy pregnant lady! Josh had laughed when I told him that I had e-mailed England, thinking that I was crazy. But nope .... I would be laughing now, but I'm too busy looking for a big old straw!!!

First little bump in the road (Part Two).

So when I got home after the accident my gut was telling me to go to the ER and just get checked out. Even if everything was perfectly fine, it would put my mind at ease, allowing me to relax and just recover from the accident myself. So off to the ER I went, crying almost the entire way there. Terrified of what the outcome could be.

The waiting room was thankfully pretty empty. So I checked in and was in the back for my vitals within 10 minutes. They spent 10 minutes doing blood pressure, heart rate and questions before taking me straight to my assigned bed in the ER. Almost right away a nurse came by to see me. She took the time to tell me what was going to happen, who was going to come see me and how long this was all going to take. She was awesome and very friendly, taking the time to tell me about her 5 month old baby girl and how her pregnancy was. She made me feel very comfortable.

The first doctor came in with a mini ultra sound machine just to have a quick look at the baby. As excited as I was to see the baby, I was really wishing that Josh was there so we could see the baby together. I was also nervous that she would find something wrong. But nope, there he or she was, moving his or her arms and legs, just hanging out. We could also see the flicker of the little heartbeat. But even though that all looked okay, they wanted to send me to radiology for a more in depth look just to be sure.

Nicole (the nurse from earlier) came back to draw some blood and put me on some IV fluids. She said they like to do that when they have a pregnant lady to make sure I don't get dehydrated with all the excitement. It was weird, I could taste it for the first few seconds, but after that it just made me really cold. I also had to pee like 10 times once the drip was finished.

Then thankfully, my friend Bekki came to keep me company. I was so happy to have someone there especially with Josh being out of town. It made time go faster and she kept my mind of off everything. Having her there even made the guy across the way throwing up not seem so bad. Thank you again Bekki!

They then took me downstairs for the in-depth ultrasound. I wasn't allowed to see the screen or hear the heartbeat (which is good, cause I want Josh there for that) because they only do ultra sounds for trauma patients. She took a ton of pictures, but then couldn't help herself by showing me one of them. She said, "Do you want to see something really cute?"  ... ummmm duh! When she turned the screen, it was my baby holding/rubbing his or her nose with his or her little hand. I loved it, because I used to do that as a baby  :)  It made me smile. Taking after his or her mommy already!

After waiting in my ER bed for another hour, the doctor came by to tell me what they had found. Everything looked okay except for the little spot of blood around where the placenta is attached to the uterus. While this is normal for some women, they found it on me after trauma and so they didn't want to assume it was there before. So they put me on bed rest for at least 3 days or until my regular ob-gym clears me.

It was quite a day and things could most definitely have been a lot worse. I am very thankful for whomever was looking over me and my little unborn baby during the accident and in the following hours. We are both very lucky. 5 hours in the ER was well worth it. Now I am just resting and healing with the help Bekki and Kyle who live right across the street. I look forward to telling our child about our first little adventure together.  :)

First little bump in the road (Part One).

And may I say, hopefully the only bump in the road! Yesterday was quite a day for me and baby, here is what happened:

I was driving back home from LAX after dropping Josh off for his Ebar days in Cabo San Lucas. Traffic was pretty awful on the 405 south. It was stop and go all the way ... mostly stop. I was just relaxing, listening to the radio and looking forward to getting home. About half way home, we had picked up speed a little bit but seeing red lights ahead of me I put my foot back on the break. I came to a full and complete stop behind the Toyota. I always glance in my rear view mirror to see that the person behind me has also slowed down and stopped, but that wasn't the case in this situation.

What I saw in my mirror was a little Honda coming up behind me at around 35-40mph and a lady sitting behind the wheel with a panicked look on her face. I braced myself. When she hit me it felt like everything went into slow motion. I stepped on the break extra hard as my head and shoulders rocked forward and the seat belt hugged me tight. But she hit me hard enough to move me a few feet into the car in front of me, rocking me back and forth for what felt like forever.

Once that part was over, all 3 of us pulled over to exchange information. The lady from the Honda behind me was very apologetic, admitting fault to the two of us. She said her flip flip got caught under the break peddle stopping her from breaking. Last time I heard, it's illegal to drive in flip flops for this exact reason. So she will be paying for damages on both cars.

We all then got back into our cars and moved on. I had planned to go home and just rest until work. But I found myself talking to the baby, telling him or her that it was going to be okay. I was feeling a little discomfort where the seat belt had hugged my hips (where the baby is), so I knew my day was far from over.

Okay, so which doctor are you?

Doctor visits come with the territory of being pregnant, at least for most women. Since my insurance covers everything pregnancy related, I am definitely taking advantage.

So far, I haven't seen the same doctor twice. I went in for the initial pregnancy test a long time ago and was taken care of by a nurse. Then I came back for my first official prenatal visit and had Dr. Wu, who said will be my doctor throughout my pregnancy should everything stay normal and if I am having the baby naturally. He will even be there when I am giving birth. So I know I will be seeing him again  :)

Then last week I had my first educational class thingy with Martha. She just basically gave me the run down of what will happen over the next 7 months and who I can call for this, that and the other. I will also be seeing her again, for more general information as my pregnancy progresses. It's nice to have her, because until meeting with her I had no idea where to go for what. So she makes all the technical stuff less stressful :)

Then today was my first trimester blood screening. So I had to go to Quest Diagnostics to have some blood drawn. I know I will be back here because blood test are normal through out the pregnancy. Although what's not normal is how much blood they took! Five test tubes of blood were taken out of my arm. Because I am prone to passing out I like to focus on the clock and my breathing. He was sucking blood continuously for 1 minute and 20 seconds!!! It's no wonder I got light headed despite taking deep breaths. But out of all the doctor visits I will have to deal with, this wont be considered the worst. The pap smears will always win the 'worst award'.

The people I have yet to see include the dietitian, social worker, dentist and ultrasound technician. And I guess Dr. Wu has a partner that will be working with me as well. It's crazy the amount of people it takes to ensure a healthy mom and baby. It's quite a network! So far, everyone has been great and I am very thankful for every little part they play in my pregnancy. I feel like I am in good hands ... how ever many there are!  ;)

Pregnant in Vegas

This past weekend Josh and I went to Las Vegas for his sister Shannan's wedding. I love Vegas. A few years ago I would make a trip out there every couple of months. But I knew this trip would be different, not only because we were there for an event, but also because I'm pregnant.

I have never spent a whole weekend in Las Vegas completely sober. It's not that I would get completely wasted, but I would move in and out of a steady drunken state. I was pretty excited for this new experience. And I must say that I think this was my favourite Vegas trip to date  :)

Definitely the most fun part was telling the side of Josh's family that didn't know we were pregnant yet. We are getting a little more relaxed about telling everyone now that we are nearing the end of the first trimester (I am 10.5 weeks). It's fun to tell family that you will be bringing a brand new family member into the world, especially when the family is as close as they are :)  It was also fun remembering the entire trip  ;)

I was going to say that I enjoyed not have to spend any nausea filled hours in bed ... but that's not entirely true. Two of the mornings, I wasn't feeling very well. But the for the most part, the nausea stayed at bay allowing me to enjoy the trip. One thing that did bum me out a little bit was when we (the ladies) went dancing on Saturday night at the Luxor. I had been very much looking forward to that, but my night-time stamina just isn't what it used to be. I was good until about midnight, but then people around us started smoking which not only made me feel ill, but made me worry about the baby. Then ... if you can believe it ... I thought the music was too loud!!! Must the the pregnancy senses, because I have never thought that before. It could also have been due to the lack of alcohol. I felt bad, and didnt want to riun the night, so I sat and danced instead giving my body a rest and drank some cranberry juice. Though we ended up leaving pretty early anyway (early for Vegas standards).

All in all, I very much enjoyed the trip. The wedding was gorgeous and I fell inlove with Josh's side of the family all over again. I fell inlove with Amy's family too  :)  All of our families are clearly meant to be together.
I also got to eat 3 plates of mashed potatoes at the buffet, shop with Danni at the Miracle Mile Center and visit the glorious M&M store. But more importantly, Josh and I had the quality time we needed to make sure we stay connected through-out our pregnancy despite him having to work long hours. Needless to say, I fell inlove with my baby-daddy all over again too  :)

Buying clothes from a different rack.

When I became pregnant I decided that my clothes buying would be limited to maternity necessities. All that changed when we (Josh and I) received our invitation for his sister's wedding. So then I decided that I would wait until the week before to shop for a wedding outfit, because I had no idea how much I would have grown by then. Today was that day.

We leave for Las Vegas (the wedding venue) the day after tomorrow and so I hit the shopping mall today. I spent about 2 hours browsing the various stores trying on dresses, shirts, skirts etc and didn't seem to having much luck. Then in one of the dressing rooms I started to feel nauseated from all the standing, walking and the heat. But I continued on for a while, slowing down and sitting when I needed to.

Coming to the two hour mark I was getting fed up. I tried on stuff that looked good on the rack, but with my changing body, just didn't look good on me. I don't yet have much of a belly, but my hips are wider and my boobs are whole size bigger (i know right ... i have boobs!) so everything looked a little strange. It's not that I dislike my changing body ... it's just that the proportions are off a little right now (what looks good on my boobs, looks terrible around my waist etc). My usual wedding attire would include a tiny, tight fitting dress, but I had to rethink that one too.

It was exhausting. Eventually I just decided to give up. I was frustrated, still nauseated and getting tired. I think I will just have to shop in my closet this time around. Luckily I have a ton of stuff to work with :)

The Irvine Lake Mud Run.

The mud run, mud walk, mud stroll, mud slip and slide, mud swim and there was even some mud sit down time. I am so glad that I didn't drop out of the race just because of my pregnancy. It was so much fun! The original plan had been to just walk it and go around any obstacles that I felt uncomfortable doing.

But we ended up jogging quite a bit of it ... 'we' being dad and I ... and I didn't skip any of the obstacles. There were times when we had to walk because I just felt very out of breath, though the rest of my body felt like it could have gone on forever. I just basically listened to my body and dad listened to me.

We were told that it was a 5k race (3.1miles) but we passed the 3 mile sign a good 20 minutes before we crossed the finish line. So we are thinking it was closer to 3.5-4 miles. Our total time was 01:06:49. Over-all we came 447th out of 705 racers which I thought was awesome considering we weren't out there to get a good time or a good placing. Had I not been in the first trimester of pregnancy, we definitely would have gone a lot harder and I know that the next one we do one (after the baby is born), we will have a much better time because I won't be afraid of falling and harming my unborn child.

The next mud run in Irvine is March 31st. I won't be doing that one as it is 2 weeks before my due date, but dad and Josh are planning to do it. So I can stand on the side line with mum and cheer them on as Josh and mum cheered dad and I on this time  :) 

So even if you are not a 'runner', I highly recommend a mud run. I have never laughed so much during a race in my life! And it's all about team work. I cannot imagine doing a mud run alone. I think that experience is meant to be shared. Not only that, but there are times when you need help getting up a muddy hill ... I know I'd still be out there somewhere had I not had dad to help me!  ;)

The cRaZy lady within.

On the days when the nausea isn't distracting me, the mood swings come at me with full ... ummm ... swing. Today was one of the glorious days.

When I'm having an emotion day, it feels like PMS on steroids. When I would be pms-ing and would suddenly want to cry for no reason I could control that because I knew it was the hormones speaking and after a few minutes I'd be fine. With pregnancy mood swings, I have little to no control over anything. Even I get surprised by what I say and do sometimes. It's scary and I feel like I should come with a warning lable for all who approach me.

As an example, here are the range of emotions I felt today: Happiness. Excited. Sadness. Anger. Annoyance. Lonliness. Needy. Indifferent.
Through out the day, I cycled through all of these more than once. And it's not necessarily the switching back and forth that's exhausting, it's trying to hide it from all the non-pregnant people in the world ... and there are a lot. Oh I just realized that I forgot to add 'paranoia' to my list ... meaning that I get paranoid that people are picking up on my mood changes and think I'm a bitch. I try to compensate for that, but I think I try too hard and come across as a bitch sometimes anyway.

I feel like if there was a room I could just spend days like this in where I could jump for joy, cry my heard out or curse like a sailor all day long, we'd all be a lot better off. Like a sound proof room where nobody has to witness my madness.

After days like today, I come home exhausted. Josh is alwasys ready and waiting with the big hug I need and with a listening ear on the off chance I want to talk about it. But to be completely honest, I am embarrassed that I want to just cry and dont have a reason for it. It's weird to fight tears when I know they are coming from an irrational place like a bad dream or anything else.

From what I've heard, I will continue to feel like a crazy lady from time to time. But I am hoping that it feels so out of control because the hormones are still new to me and that they will somewhat mellow out as time goes on. But for now, where is that sound proof room.

Could it be a sign???

I was putting away my clean laundry today and found this sock in among mine. Because we live in an apartment complex we share the laundry room with other people. So it's not a rarity to find random socks with your laundry when someone else might have dropped it.

But look at this sock! Its a baby sock with the age 0-6 months written on it. AND it has a pink elephant on it! Anyone who knows me, knows that I own like 12 elephant statues and stuffed animals. Elephants are my animal! I am and ele-friend  :)

So far today, more than one person has said that it's a sign. The pink for a girl and the elephant for happiness. I just about melted when I saw the sock ... I am sure the whole complex heard me awe-ing hahaha!

Of course this could all just be a happy coincedence. But really ... why this sock and why my laundry? Whatever the explanation, it made my day. Not because I necessarily want a girl, just because it's a baby sock and I'm growing a baby  :)

The blog title?

You know, if you are reading this as someone who doesn't know me, it just occurred to me that I have never really explained the title of this blog. As far as I can remember I have not mentioned running of any kind in any of my blogs. So here it goes ... 12 blogs later, finally an explanation.

Before I became pregnant I was an avid runner. I was on the road or in the gym 5-6 days a week running a minimum of 5k (3.1 miles). I also did the elliptical machine, the StairMaster, the bike and rowing machine from time to time as well as light weight lifting. I like to think I did swimming too, but I don't think once every 2-3 months really counts.

Obviously since taking the pregnancy test which came up positive I have scaled back big time. I remember the last workout before the pregnancy test ... by the end of it I wasn't feeling well and had some abdominal cramping. I also read that if you work out hard for prolonged periods of time keeping your body temperature elevated you could be doing damage to your unborn child. Of course I don't want to do that, so I haven't been pushing myself as I was before. I had been working on improving my 5k time, but that can now wait.

For the past few weeks it has been difficult to workout anyway, due to the nausea and exhaustion, but when I do make it to the gym or out the front door, I just walk. My muscles feel like they are getting a workout, but I am not turning red and sweating buckets like if I was running. I sometimes lift lighter weights than before, but it has really come down to listening to my body. If something doesn't feel right, then I stop.

I do still have a mud run with my dad a week from tomorrow. I considered dropping out, but its only 5k. I figure we can walk/roll/skip/jog through the mud. We are not out to win, just to have fun. I signed up months ago and it wasn't cheap, so I'm still participating! I am not missing out on my chance to get dirty!

Ah yes, I could enjoy this.

Yesterday was the first day that I can honestly say I very much enjoyed being pregnant. Emphasis on the 'enjoyed'. I only had a little nausea first thing in the morning and felt awesome for the rest of the day. There was no cramping, no moodiness, no tiredness and first the first time in a while, I was able to eat every few hours and eat a variety of different foods.

During the day I even took Brutus on a 2 mile walk through the park in the warm afternoon sun. I vowed to myself and my baby that we will spend many days at the park, especially if we live in the city. Trees and grass and dirt is good!

I even enjoyed being at work last night. I stand a lot at work, which is pleasant when you're not feeling well. Though on my break I decided to try eating something healthy. I ordered black beans and kale (with a side of seasoned fries *cough cough*) since I used to love eating that kind of thing before being pregnant. But as soon as I tried to put the kale to my mouth, my stomach turned. I couldn't do it. How is it that all my food aversions seem to center around vegetable when I used to eat them all the time?!

Anyway, I decided not to dwell on it. So I boxed my beans and kale and ate the fries. I will try the kale again today. Maybe my body is just in need of more salt and fat as it prepares for more baby growing. I just hope that I can manage some vegetables soon! I need the fiber  ;)

So to more good days! Which, by the way, lead to a fabulous night's sleep! This morning I have a little bit of nausea again, but nothing I cant eat through!

Grocery Shopping? No Thanks.

I am the primary grocery shopper of the household. This is a chore that I usually like to do ... but not lately.

When it comes to grocery shopping, I usually just get the essentials for the week unless I see something that can live in the freezer for a while. Josh will give me one or two items that he would like and then I usually fill in the blanks (what else I think both he and I will need). Again, I usually love doing this, but not lately.

I attempted to go grocery shopping yesterday and had to request a longer list of Josh's 'wants' for the week. Despite the 'usuals' on my list, I couldn't fill in the blanks. The stuff that I usually love and get regularly were wiped off my list and I was stuck. I walked down every aisle, looked at every shelf and could feel my stomach turning. Any time I felt myself say, "Oh that sounds good" I just threw it into my cart. It made for a very interesting mix.

I know that it will get easier soon. I am at week 7 and 1 day, which puts me over half way through the first trimester. So I just need to hold on for a little while longer and then I know I will be filling my shopping cart with all kinds of good stuff! So I guess I should be thankful for all the money I am saving right now :)

Oh how my heart BUUUUURNS!

It's been a few days since I last posted anything. The only reason for this is because the past few days have been pretty rough as far as nausea go, and I really didn't want to keep writing about the same thing. However, today has been much better ... not nausea free, but better :)  and so I am back.

You know, I thought I had experienced indigestion before ... but you know what ... I was wrong. Last night Josh and I were sitting on the couch watching TV. Suddenly I had one of those hick-up burps that I thought was going to result in a vomit covered couch, but much to my surprise was just stomach acid. (I know, right ... sorry for ruining dinner!). It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It came right up to my throat before my swallow reflex brought it back to it's rightful place. And wow did it burn! I spent the first 15 seconds just trying to catch my breath. It felt like I'd been winded or my water had gone down the wrong pipe. Once I sort of caught my breath I got up to get some water. Meanwhile, I couldn't stop coughing or swallowing, and sadly the saliva seemed to fuel the fire in my throat.

All I could think about was a glass of water, but for whatever reason, when I opened the fridge I reached for the Lactaid milk instead (I'm lactose intolerant). I poured it as quickly as I could before taking a big mouthful. As soon as that milk hit my throat the fire went out. It was such sweet relief! I ended up downing half a cup which thankfully settled my upset stomach. But my goodness ... I was very glad when that 5 minutes was over!

So I learned a lesson from all of that. Any time I eat something that I think might give me indigestion (or whatever THAT was) I simply drink a cup of milk afterwards. Since it's only been a day, I cannot really say if it works, but my esophagus and throat sure hope so! Would suck if that happened at work, where they don't have milk .... maybe 'Tums' and I shall have to put our differences aside ... just for the next 7.5 months.

Is it time to go into hibernation yet?

I have been sleeping a lot lately! Seriously way more than before. The past few mornings I haven't had to get up at a specific time, so I've just been waking up naturally ... at ummm 11am and this morning at 11:30am! I guess I have been napping a little bit less during the day, but have been getting plenty of rest! Last night Josh and I were watching 'Monk' and I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30pm. Don't worry, I didn't sleep from 8:30pm until 11:30am, that would be impressive, but I was in bed by 11:30pm.

Lately I just feel like I could sleep and sleep. So maybe I should just join the California bears when they turn in for hibernation :)  I think I would enjoy that very much!

The nausea first thing in the morning has been pretty bad the past few days also, so maybe that is just sucking the life out of me. The nausea was so bad the other morning, when Josh crawled back into the bed to talk to me for a second, I turned around and told him to stop moving the bed. He just gently got back back up and walked away. --- Sorry my love!  ---- Lucky for me, he is 100% understanding and hasn't held any of my mood swings against me.

I don't know if this happened on purpose or not, but my boss recently changed my Native Foods working schedule so that on any given day, I am only working one job. So today for example, I am only coaching gymnastics. Honestly, had it not worked out this way I am not sure what I would be like at the end of working two jobs right now. So I am thankful :)

So other than the nausea and tiredness, I am doing great. I eat when I can and rest when I can. Speaking of which, I think it might be breakfast time :)

Sometimes we need a little help.

Today started off pretty rough. I was feeling awful when I woke up and went from lying in bed to lying on the couch contemplating getting back into bed. Luckily Josh was here this morning to give me a kick start. He talked me into a much needed shower (standing for too long in the morning can be too much), by saying that he would get breakfast (that I didn't want but very much NEEDED), while I got ready for my day.

I took my time in the shower, which actually ended up making me feel a lot better and sat on the couch to a yummy black bean and cheese burrito from Trader Joes and a ginger ale. For the first time in a few days the smell didnt hit me in the back of the throat. I sat down and happily got through about 3/4 of the burrito. This means that I also got my prenatal down with food which is always a plus!

This is the first morning where the pregnancy sickness has actually slowed me down. If it hadnt been for Josh, I probably would have turned up at work unshowered and having not eaten more than my whole grain crackers. Thanks to his loving help this morning, I ended up having a wonderful day.

As the day continued, I felt better and better, though the nausea crept in from time to time. I managed to ignore it most of the time and even managed some lunch today :)  It's the first day in half a week where I have eaten at least 3 decent (baby happy) meals and had a helping of fruit to end my day. It's days like this that make all the other days worth it. And I love using days like today to catch up on the nutrients my baby has been missing out on.

A beautiful day thanks to my wonderful fiance. I appreciate all your patience and unconditional love. Thank you for answering to my every pregnant need ... I love more than I could ever express in words.

Ok this was fun ... Can the baby be here now?

It's been a week since I tested positive for being pregnant, and I feel like I am finally settling into my new lifestyle. Obviously I cannot be completely settled ... after all, every day is different. But I am getting used to the symptoms that occur on a daily bases. For example, every morning I know I will wake up completely starving and nauseated at the same time, so I am prepared with whole grain crackers and water. I also set my alarm with enough time that I can get up slowly.
I know that after about an hour of sitting on the couch nibbling on a few more crackers that my stomach will be finally ready for the idea of some breakfast. As soon as I feel ready I prepare whatever I find somewhat appealing. I eat because I know the baby needs food, otherwise I wouldn't bother until I am feeling 100% better. Breakfast is still a struggle though, and my gag reflex is ready and waiting for me to lose control. I don't really start to feel completely better until mid afternoon, but at least the baby was fed :)

Something that has been new the last few days is that just the thought of foods makes me feel like throwing up. Just thinking about it in my mouth is enough to turn my stomach. So even when I am starving and want to eat ... finding something I can swallow is quite the adventure. Today for example, the only thing that I could easily swallow (not including the breakfast I inhaled) was lightly salted tortilla chips. Not very nutritious I know, but at least it was something. Hopefully tomorrow will be something a little more substantial. But thankfully this evening I managed some chicken noodle soup.

The cramping is slowly stopping which is nice. The cramping was due to my pelvis changing, my uterus growing, the baby implanting and the sudden surge of hormones. I know that I will get more as the pregnancy progresses, but for now I am pretty much cramp free :) 

The final big physical change ... and I am only discussing this because it is a pregnancy blog ... are my boobs. Oh my goodness, are they sore!!! They've already grown half a cup size which means I'm going to need to go shopping soon. This morning I couldn't raise my arms all the way because they were so tender. But hey ... I guess I wont be needing those implants lol  ;)

So yeah, emotionally I have settled in, but physically I haven't stopped changing in weeks. It's like puberty all over again! But when I think about the end goal ... a beautiful, healthy baby ... it is worth every tender, nauseated, cramping minute. I cant wait to be a mom.  :)

Prenatal Yoga Time!

I bought a prenatal yoga dvd a few days ago so that I would stay somewhat active and strong. Today is the first day that I managed to get up off the couch and onto my yoga mat to use it.

The prenatal section of the dvd is 30 minutes long and incorporates all the safe poses for an expectant mother. I had no idea that there were so many unsafe poses until I checked online! So be careful if you decide to go to a regular yoga class! Their is also a postnatal section on the dvd, but obviously I havnt used that one yet.

There was a lot of reminding me to breathe and smile and relax my face. Every time she said something along those lines, I was holding my breath or frowning because the pose was a little difficult, so I was thankful for the reminders. She also takes the time for you to connect with your breathing and your baby, which I feel is very important.

Despite having felt a little under the weather this morning, the entire 30 minutes was very doable, it even made me feel a little better (though I am not yet running to the fridge). So I can definitely see myself being able to do this a few times a week throughout the pregnancy.

I do hope to get to a few actual prenatal yoga classes. My friend Nadia is all for going with me and participating since this may be outside of Josh's comfort zone (which of course, I fully understand if he doesnt want to step inside a yoga studio). So I am happy to have a yoga buddy :)  Thank you Nadia!

So I highly recommend this yoga workout. It's nice and simple, but I feel like I had to work a little.
Namaste!

Every expectant mother worries.

When I was reading the baby book last night it seemed I was at the exact part that I needed to be at for me. It talked about how every expectant mother worries about everything, especially when it's their first pregnancy. As it turns out, every woman who is expecting for the first time (and this very much includes me) worries about miscarrying.

It's not that there is a history of it in my family or anything like that. I just find myself worrying about every little pain, every little feeling that is brand new and foreign. I worry that I am eating too much of the wrong thing and not enough of the right. I worry that I am moving too fast, standing too long or not sleeping enough.

It is strange to be in charge of a little life growing inside me. And because I've never done it before, it is also worrying at times. They say that 10% of all pregnancies miscarry ... I'd say that put the odds in my favour of keeping this wonderful child inside me until it is fully ready to survive in the world. But I cannot say that it doesn't cross my mind every day that I will slip up some how. After all, I have never had a little life depend on me so much before.

I guess all I can do is relax and listen to my body and my baby and stop worrying about having too many symptoms or not enough. After all ... I do believe I was praying for a nausea free day  :)

I've lost my arm and leg!

I recently read that once you are in the 2nd trimester, that it is dangerous to lie flat on your back because the weight of the uterus cuts off the circulation of oxygen and blood to the baby. This kind of sucks, because I primarily sleep on my back. So I decided to start practising.

In the same book they also said that putting a pillow between your legs helps you to stay on your side at night, so I decided to give that a try. Surprisingly, it works pretty well. Though last night I think I woke up on my back twice, though the night before I didn't at all. When I am not waking up on my back, I am waking up without an arm or a leg. My hips and shoulders aren't used to being crushed all night and so they are going numb. It is quite annoying because I hate the feeling of pins and needles in my entire arm or leg and I keep having to turn over because apparently my body cannot figure that part out without waking me up.

I am glad that I started practising now, because come the 2nd trimester I don't want to be waking up on my back or without limbs. All this practice will be worth it for my baby  :)

Crackers in Bed ... what, no breakfast???

This past week the morning sickness has made it's presence known. Although the term 'morning sickness' is very misleading. I think from here on out it should just be called 'pregnancy sickness'. For me it has just been nausea that comes in waves. Some waves are worse than others, but I consider myself lucky compared to what some of my pregnant friends face on a daily basis. My mom didnt really deal with any pregnancy sickness, so I was hoping my body would follow suit, but I wasnt quite that lucky.

Dad was telling me that one of his sisters would eat a digestive buiscuit while still in bed every morning before getting up and that would help alleviate some of the nausea. So mom suggested I keep some crackers on my bedside table. This morning when I woke up I rolled over and ate a cracker laying down. I got crumbs all over my pillow, but it did indeed alleviate some of the nausea I had been feeling earlier when I got up to visit the bathroom (again). I also had a sip of water before slowely sitting up and making my way to the living room.

Having crackers in bed isnt exactly like having breakfast in bed, but it made my morning much easier! I can safely say that there will be crumbs on my pillow every morning until the pregnancy sickness subsides.

When I first started getting the nausea I was staying away from food for fear that it would make it worse. But now I know that letting myself get too hungry actually makes the nausea worse ... so I try to eat something, even if its really small, every 2 hours or so. That way, my stomach has something to digest other than its own lining. Something I learned this morning is that when I get too hungry I get very painful hick-ups which I would also like to try and avoid!

So crackers in bed it is! .... Animal crackers in my bed .... lol  ;)

And So It Has Begun.

Hello.
For those of you who don't know me, welcome and thank you for reading my blog. My name is Kirsty, I am 24 years old and I am expecting my very first child with my fiance Josh.

I had my first little doctors appointment today. It was basically just a 'confirming you are pregnant' thing, but exciting none the less. According to the doctor, I am approximately 5 weeks pregnant and I am stoked! Needless to say, so is Josh. If possible, he said he would go straight from the conception to the delivery ... and as much as I sometimes feel the same way, I am glad that there are 40 weeks of mental and psychological prep time. I am also very much enjoying the fact that there is a tiny being growing inside me and that I am in charge of not only my health now, but the health of my baby.

The pregnancy wasn't a complete surprise, though I did find myself staring at the home test with my mouth wide open for several minutes before waking Josh with the news. We had talked about wanting to start a family while we were both young and in good health and so I had been off my birth control for just a few months. Though I must say that we didn't expect it to happen this fast! It was a good surprise ... a very very good surprise!

So with this blog, I am just going to journal about the ups and downs of pregnancy. My thoughts and feelings (emotional as well as physical) as I experience this miracle of life. I hope you enjoy reading my blog as much as I know I will enjoy writing it. Please comment with advice, questions or anything else whether I know you or not ... all your words are welcome!